Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
