Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Please, let me fuck your mom
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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