i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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