i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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