We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
