i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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