is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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