I'm gonna have a badass scar
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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