We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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