Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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