im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
