it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
