You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
