so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
