So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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