I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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