he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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