i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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