Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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