its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize