He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
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