One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize
