This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
