i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
