who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
