Im at strip club and am horny
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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