Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
