Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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