its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
