i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
