But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
