im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
