just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
