To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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