Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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