sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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