I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
