Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
