You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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