tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
