so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
