Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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