I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
