Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
