I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ketchup is God's man juice
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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