cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
