I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
