I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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