It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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