So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
