I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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