how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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