I think i peed on brittanys purse
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
