it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize