still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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