I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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