Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
