you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Small penises have feelings too.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
