whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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