Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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