Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
