Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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