I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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