You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I am naked and annoyed.
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