i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
