He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
