All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
